I chatted on Match.com with a seemingly nice guy named Erik. We decided to set up a date and go for drinks, then at the very last second he reschedules for Friday of Father’s Day weekend. Then almost simultaneously I notice that his profile was removed from Match.com. Interesting…
It gets better. Erik calls the Wednesday before our Friday date to say that he forgot it was Father’s Day weekend and that his eight-year-old daughter texted him saying she wants to see him on Father’s Day in NYC (I gather the kids live with their mother in the city). So Erik reschedules again, except this time for an ice cream date planned for this evening (today is the Wednesday following our canceled Friday date). I’ll get back to tonight’s ice cream date in a minute.
Now rewind a couple of days Greg, back to weekend, the weekend when Erik canceled our date so he could spend it with his children. Now what am I supposed to do? Go out of course; so I decided to go out to dinner with friends in Cherry Creek. Just as I’m seated, guess who? There he is — I’m directly facing a man who looks just like Erik. But there’s only one problem, he’s supposed to be in New York with his children and not on a date in Denver! Needless to say I get a good eye lock with him a few times throughout the evening and then lo and behold Erik and his date got up and left hand in hand.
It gets even better! I texted him on Monday to mention that I noticed his Match profile was taken down and asked if he found a special woman to date, partially to see if he did, and partially to see if he’d fess up about lying. He said “no” and we continued to have a fun flirty conversation, so maybe I was wrong and that wasn’t him on Saturday night. Well I’m a sucker for the benefit of the doubt so we decided to schedule a Wednesday (tonight) ice cream date.
Well Greg, you probably guessed it, it’s Wednesday and nada, nothing, silence, crickets, not a peep, Erik is nowhere to be found. I don’t get the point of all of the above! What a screwball to 1) Make up a lie and 2) Make up a lie involving his kids. I’m sure he knew that Saturday that he was busted, but still, just fess up and move on buddy. And for sure this town is too small to not run into this jackass again! What kind of guy was I dealing with?
Yikes, Dud Dater! Thanks for sharing your dating disaster story — it’s a doozy! Your tale is very interesting, but not unusual for online dating, especially if the guy is using dating websites for sport dating. “Sport dating” is a fairly new phenomenon that has become popular with the abundance of unsuspecting women who use dating sites and have no idea how to use them. Here’s how it works…
Sport daters prey on as many willing women as possible with the sole intentions of bedding as many women as they can without breaking the bank. Here are the sport dater’s rules: anything and everything goes and all options (women) are kept open according to what they rank.
There is a day of the week for every “type” of woman. Early in the week is reserved for inexpensive initial meetings and for easy less attractive women that don’t require effort. Weekends are strictly reserved for high quality women that have been primed by the sport dater and there is a good chance any money or work he put into her could pay dividends. Like I said, anything goes to get the prize. Both lying and deceiving are normal tactics when sport daters manage numerous women at once.
In my estimation you’ve fallen victim to sport dating and Erik found a better option for that Saturday night. It’s that simple. Payoffs are a must on the weekend for a sport dater and dropping over $100 on you for a first date dinner on the weekend is not an option.
P.S. Erik would have gotten ice cream with you the Wednesday he stood you up if you hadn’t spotted him last Saturday night. Welcome to Match.com.
Here’s a quick overview of a sport dater’s week:
Monday through Thursday is reserved for tier one dating. Tier one consists of quick, inexpensive, early week meetings that establish attraction and chemistry or women you can meet up with at anytime that don’t require effort but satisfy your immediate needs. Sport daters look for new women on dating sites and try to get them into tier one dating and go on quick meet dates, preferably happy hour.
Weekends are strictly reserved for women who made it out of tier one dating. Here’s how you make it to tier two dating: 1) You’re hot. (If you’re hot enough sometimes you can jump right past tier one, but you have to show signs of a future payoff). 2) You have been on a few quick dates and the chemistry warrants a longer date. 3) You are fun and don’t mind being available on the weekends for a short notice (something fell through).
No one said it is easy out there and trust me when I say all the sketchy dating isn’t exclusive to guys. This month I wrote about online #sportdating so I think next month it’s only fair to write about the online female #dinnerdigger. Of course you can comment on this column and all of my others at www.denverdaters.com or join the conversation on Twitter by using #sport dating and don’t forget to include me @sheikofcc. If you’ve missed watching me get “shaped up” by Noelle Brownson, Denver’s best personal trainer for guys getting back in the game, check us out in action at www.facebook.com/shapeupthesheik.