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’Twas about a month before Christmas, Thanksgiving to be right,
’Twas about a month before Christmas, Thanksgiving to be right,
In bed lies a bachelor awake like the night.
You see the bachelor is in a battle, but just in his head.
A Christmas sweater he mumbled, “You won’t catch me dead.”
To make sense of his quandary let’s rewind twelve hours,
That’s when the bachelor hears her voice call from the shower.
“How about we send out a Christmas glossy and we’ll wear matching sweaters?”
“Oh even cuter, let make a third for my Setter.”
The bachelor knew the score; he knew what she wanted,
He knew this day was coming, a day that he daunted.
This must be a farce, a prank or maybe a cruel joke,
He collected his words and thought before he spoke.
But then foolishly he blurted, “Yeah, that’s sounds good to me!”
But before the bachelor could finish she yelled, “Yippee!”
Oh my goodness he thought, what have I done!?
A minute ago we were just dating, you know just having fun.
Now guests began to arrive being Thanksgiving and all,
“This is my mom, my dad, my sister and that guy is my brother Paul.”
Overwhelmed with anxiety the bachelor suddenly felt married,
If I don’t think quickly, soon I’ll be buried.
As the night deepened so did his thoughts,
Take away my freedom, no you will not.
Faking a smile the bachelor chatted a while,
You see normal, he acted, or was it denial?
As dinner wound down so did the clock,
The bachelor excused himself from the guests for a head clearing walk.
His feet crunched through snow while his teeth chattered,
Confused with his feelings he wondered what really mattered.
He trudged back home wondering what would become of he,
The bachelor’s mind raced with the thought, will I lose her or will I lose me?
He entered his house filled with warmth from her smile,
The ease that he felt made it all seem worthwhile.
Now more confused than ever the bachelor retired to his bed,
He kissed her gently goodnight but not much was said.
Now we’re back to which began,
The bachelor lay awake in bed questioning his brand.
Much like a dream, an old wise man entered his mind,
The frail voice spoke and whispered, “I’m familiar with your kind.”
“Who are you and what do you mean?”
The bachelor defended, “My senses are keen.”
“If you love her young man it should not matter,”
“Wear that matching sweater with pride, you should be flattered!”
Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it. This story was written based on a true story and I wanted to share it. Take what you want from it but my goal for the coming year is to help you find your sweater. Over the last three years writing this column I have tried to offer you guys every piece of dating advice and tool that I know to get you out there dating productively in this fast-paced, dog-eat-dog world. Like always you can comment on this and my past musing anonymously on www.denverdaters.com or use hashtag #sweaterguy on Twitter and don’t forget to include me, @sheikofcc in your tweet! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
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