To pay or not to pay — that is the question!

Who should pay on a first date? Should you split it? Do the rules change after the first date is finished and in the books? Should the guy always pay? Should the woman always offer to pay? Is paying for a date the “gentlemanly” thing to do? Do you say forget “gentlemanly,” she has a J.O.B? Do you play picking up the tab by ear until you sense if you’ve been thrown into the friend zone, or if you think you’ll be dancing in her end zone later?

These are all questions and variables modern daters are faced with every time they decide they are ready to venture out into the big bad world of dating. You may think some of these answers are easy, but they’re not.

Now look at you. You know what I’m talking about; you busted your ass all spring and summer long so you could be a viable dater just so you could avoid being the single guy going into fall, winter and the holiday season. But you are, still single that is.

As you all hopefully know by now the “Confessions of a Serial Dater” series in the Chronicle has spawned a radio show on 630 KHOW titled “The Modern Dater!” TMD is a one of a kind show that talks about what it takes to date in a modern world riddled with technology, an overload of sources to find singles and people who will eat your lunch (literally and figuratively) if you’re not on point and hip to the new techniques people are using to find love.

Riddle me this… Ladies, why do you want to change your man? I mean, you liked him just fine when you first met him and he obviously had qualities that you are attracted to, so why change him? This is a dating quandary that I’ve yet to figure out so I may need some audience participation.

Now that we've been physically intimate and now that we've met each other’s families, friends and children… Now that you pretty much live at my house and even occasionally receive mail here… Now that I've lent you money and we've purchased items together… Now that I trust you with my life up to, but not limited to, my closest intimacy — both emotional and physical… How about we spend a few minutes getting to know each other? 

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First, let me apologize in advance to any “Couch Girl” that may be reading this article. In fact, you should find comfort in the reality that you are needed and that every man has one (or should). Like old comfy socks or a favorite pizza from a pizzeria, Couch Girl is there for you, right where you left her or she is willing to hightail it to your place within the hour.

Let’s talk about Couch Girl.

Guys have you ever been in a situation with a woman where you said to yourself, “what in the world is she talking about?”, or “I wish I knew what she was thinking?” Of course you have… Every guy does because it takes years of experience and tons of studying to learn “woman speak”. Woman speak is a cryptic language that is mostly made up of innuendo, hints, suppressed feelings and it is generally emotionally charged.

Meet Mike!

Mike’s divorced, single and in his early 50s. Mike’s lack of romantic success has left him with a boatload of confusion, a lack of confidence and a void of loneliness. That beat down from life has crippled his desire to put himself in front of attractive, successful, put-together women. Don’t get me wrong, Mike is fully capable of scrounging up an occasional old retread or landing a gal that he wouldn’t want to bring home to mom, if you know what I mean.